Saturday, November 23, 2013

The day that everything changed

I was just sorting through pictures and found this....

I forgot that I took pictures that day, mostly to show Christian how pitiful she was. The yellow wrap is covering an IV. She was going on day 15 of a fever. She was dehydrated and wouldn't drink or eat anything. They had just drawn labs. A few minutes after I took this picture they did the nasal swab that showed she had 3 viruses. We wouldn't find out for a few months how severely compromised her immune system was.

When I see this picture all of my what if questions start. What if she hadn't gotten sick? What if I didn't take her to Primary Children's Hospital? What if my aunt hadn't suggested the test? What if we didn't catch it in time? It also takes me back to an appointment in July when our infectious disease specialist told us that her condition was life threatening.

As a parent I am living my worst nightmare. The funny thing is I think this is normal now. It's when I stop and think about it that I realize that this is not normal! The not normal feeling hits at weird and inconvenient times. I remember almost breaking out in tears at a grocery store checkout. I walked out quickly and crying in the car. This picture brings it all back.

Fiona's fundraiser

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